Friday, February 12, 2016

Valentine's Day Stress Disorder

Photo courtesy: http://www.thegirlcreative.com
Recently, Stacey Dash made an outrageous comment about getting rid of Black History Month. Now I do not agree with her on this, but I do feel like we should get rid of Valentine's day. A lot of us guys think this day is nothing short of ridiculous. Just when you catch your breath from Christmas, someone comes up with the bright idea to have Valentine's day. Thanks! Here come the jewelry ads with the "perfect" guy handing his girl a box...she opens it and she beams with joy and gives him a big kiss. Next comes the annoying jingle ..."Every kiss belongs to_ _ _" or "He shopped at J _ _ _ D." Then comes the glaring eye from your significant other who just watched the same commercial. No words are spoken but you've been around long enough to know the "Why Can't You Do That" look. Now, the pressure is on. 

Even though, most of us men would love to cancel this day, we still roll up our sleeves like true world class lovers every year to try and wow her. Come February 13, we will converge upon Walmart's card aisle like true Love Minions leaving nothing behind but a trail of stepped on empty envelopes. We will sweat out our shirts when the hostess informs us that there is a 4 and a half hour wait for that romantic dinner we promised her. Personally, I've done well over the past 12 Valentine's days that I've shared with wifey. I'm sure she'd agree that I've treated her like the queen that she is, but I like most men have experienced my share of Valentine's Day Stress Disorder. 

VDSD is that traumatic feeling of intense pressure involved with trying to figure out what to get her. Ladies don't realize how much pressure this day can put on us. Well, maybe they do, but they enjoy watching us sweat. But do we bring this stress on ourselves? I personally, think instead of focusing on this one day we should put more focus on all of the days in between Valentine's days. If we use February 14 as a "State of our Love Life" day to reflect on how well we showed love over the past year, most of the stress will go away. Many women hold Valentine's Day in such high regard because they feel like it is the only day that their man will put forth any romantic effort. I get it. The notion that the true extent of a man's romantic prowess hinges on this one day is absurd. It is the retailers that feel the love on Valentine's Day. My wife actually forbids me to give her roses on Valentine's day mainly due to the ridiculous price mark up. She's actually happier when I give her flowers on any other day knowing that I also saved a few bucks. 

I'm telling you guys, we can free ourselves from Valentine's Day Stress Disorder once and for all if we learn the art of romance throughout the year. Let's remember that God is the creator of love and His word shows us how to love properly with no commercial interruptions. Here are 3 keys to romance that you can use throughout the year that will drain the stress out of February 14.

1. Read The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman- It is an easy read that shows explains how you and your spouse interpret and receive love. My wife made me read this book before she would agree to marry me. The concepts continue to help us understand each even up until this very day. Presenting her with a His and Hers book and a commitment to read it together could be the only gift she'll need this Valentine's Day.

2. Play Together-Do something at least once a month with your woman that you don't necessarily enjoy, but she does. Most women will be blown away by this act of service. This will also give you some leverage for her to return the favor by doing something you like to do as a couple. If you go all out throughout the year Valentine's Day begin to feel overrated to her.

3. Celebrate Milestones-If there's ever a day that is worth going all out then it is your significant other's birthday. Going all out for birthdays shows the wife and kids just how glad you are that they were born. Check out my previous post on this topic. It is always good to celebrate other milestones of course like promotions, graduations, etc.